I’ve always considered myself as a radical atheist. Hating the idea of God and everything and anyone that was connected with it. I would always stay at home when my family went to the Christmas service at our village church. They’d be surrounded by people celebrating, uniting together as one to sing carols and stick candles in oranges and be happy. I’d always be unenthusiastic at Easter or Christmas while the people around me are happy.
I’ve never really met anyone who was a serious church goer until I came to uni which is what I suppose sparked my interest initially. The idea was laughable to me, dedicating time to worship or whatever. But seeing how much happiness and sense of belonging it brought him made me question myself.
Enrolling in a module titled ‘The Meaning of Life’ did not at all help the existential crisis that awoke inside me. I began to question everything. Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life?
It was during a seminar on the subject that I realised a higher being existed. The First Cause argument is what persuaded me. There MUST have been something that transcends our understanding of space and time that caused our existence. And I believe that something to be what Christians call ‘God’.
I am yet to decide on whether I identify as a Christian but I am attracted to many of their core beliefs. I hope that my newly discovered faith will give me comfort in my existential crisis of not knowing where I come from or who I am or what my purpose is.
lolacola98 
This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story!
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I fully agree with deaconamos.
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If the first cause argument did it for you, and by extension you’re saying there can be no infinite regress… where did god come from and how do you know?
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God transcends our understanding of space and time so we can’t possibly know how, where or why ‘he’ exists.
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Then… you just believe on nothing more than faith
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Well SOMETHING must have caused us to come in to existence. Something must have caused the big bang. Something must have caused the universe to begin. That ‘thing’, whatever form it may be, be it a spirit or a ball of energy is what I believe to be God. That being also created the complex molecular structures we see around us as well as logic and morality.
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Why call it god? Why not just Nature?
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Yeah this is my dilemma that I’m going through at the moment. Believing in a higher being naturally made me turn toward religion. I believe that this higher being is what created nature. But as well as this, I see the happiness and comfort that religion brings to people which is what attracts me to it further.
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